Sometimes we forget that we’re not only teaching our kids, they’re also teaching us! Over the holidays I was on vacation with three adults (including Dr. Pollack) and our two kids in Puerto Rico, which was beautiful, until we got stuck there an additional six days due to Hercules.
Picture this: One minute I’m prepared to head home to 0 degrees, and the next thing I know, I am checking into the El Conquistador (headquarters for party central), and I find myself stressed out all over again. Every other New Yorker was glued to his or her phone and laptop beachside, conducting their previously scheduled conference calls and meetings, as the uncooperative airlines continued to wreak havoc on our plans to return to work and kids back to school. Hard to say which was worse, truly. Shoveling snow up north and freezing in the polar vortex, or stuck in paradise, unable to go about your original plans as you envisioned. (And yes, I realize my full description of the scenario probably leaves you just as unsympathetic as when you started reading this blog post.)
Those 13 uninterrupted days of vacation with my children were a reminder that they are also great teachers. Below are the three lessons I took away with me after this trip, and after all I must say “thank you” to Hercules, for had it never came, I may not have learned my lessons.
Lesson 1: Stop & Listen
Kids force us to be in the moment. Their world is only in the present, and they will communicate their feelings and emotions, unfiltered and uncensored. We don’t need to put our own personal fears or craziness on them, like some of our parents did to us. All we need to do is be like them – listen, slow down, and pay attention to the world around us. I have two kids of the opposite sex, ages 6 (girl) and 9 (boy), with extremely different personalities. They are both sharp in many ways – determined and strong-willed, it can be a struggle to teach them how to be flexible. Silly fights occur such as who gets to choose their ice cream first, or who showers first. At the end of our vacation, my son requested that the next time we go away on vacation, it should be just the four of us. Who can ignore the child who cries for more family alone time?
Lesson 2: Butt Out!
My daughter was frustrated because my son was teasing her, daring her to pull his hair, and so, she did as he asked and he said it felt good. She then did it again, even harder, surprising him. I resisted every urge within me to put a stop to it, fearing it might grow into something uncontrollable, as this was all taking place in the back seat of the car. But I let it be, and less than a minute later, they were giggling together. We have to let kids try and fail and solve their own problems sometimes – it helps them build confidence and character.
Lesson 3: Mommy & Me Time
Life is busy with school, work, extracurricular activities…and with kids there’s always so much planning and organization. It’s easy to have the day go by in a blur because we’re so busy just getting through it. As part of my reinvention at home this year, I’m dedicating 1 full hour per week as Mommy & Me time (separately) to my son and my daughter – so they can each have a full hour of me, uninterrupted, where they will get to choose how we should spend that time.
Being a parent is the most challenging role I’ve ever taken on, and its challenges never cease. I love that my children teach me new things about life, people, and the world around us. What do your kids teach you? We want to know! Email me at info@dashawellness.com and put “Parent Lessons” in the subject heading.
DASHA® wellness & spa is a luxury lifestyle brand and New York City-based wellness center created to offer a truly holistic approach to wellness. To learn more, visit dashawellness.com.
