Marathon Training Day 39

It’s 12am and I’m lying in bed just thinking. I try not to do this too much because my mind tends get the best of me.

I either go left thinking of the what if’s or go right and the journal comes out and the writing begins. I am a thinker, constantly brainstorming ways of how I can shake it up and make things spin.

Apparently, I’ve been this way since I’m a little girl. That’s just the way I was hardwired! So one of the things I was thinking about was that I can’t help to wonder what the hell has possessed me to run 3 half marathons in the next 4 months.

United Airlines NYC Half Marathon on March 18th, 2018

Shape Women’s Half Marathon on April 15th, 2018

• I’m running this race in support of the National Kidney Foundation in honor of my father who passed away in December 2017 – please consider a donation!

Is it the fact I just want to accomplish a personal goal?

Is the idea of being able to earn more metals? I mean those are one in the same, Right? My step father “Stan The Man” always said ,”Do what makes you feel good, and when it no longer feels good then stop.” I know that my running has become somewhat addicting, bc I do it almost daily and when I don’t run it’s like I’m ready to jump out of my skin. In the past, and I say the past because I’d like to leave it there, I started a project and just didn’t complete them. I wanted too but I was so convinced that whatever was in front of me was a better way to go. Looking back I realized I had so many material things influence me but what I lost was that feeling of self. It wasn’t so much that I looked at it like failure it was more the fact that I just didn’t complete my personal goal.

So why am I venting this? Well it doesn’t matter how fast you go, it doesn’t matter how perfect you are and I could give a crap about how you were raised, what I care about is that you do things safely, confidently and most of all you complete it!