Soul Searching
Lately I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching, which is probably why I haven’t written in a day or so.
And, it got me thinking… thinking about who I am? Who I want to be? And how I want to feel? “I realize that what I am really doing is actually questioning my own self worth, personal growth and happiness.”
You see in my world, it’s absolutely imperative that I take excellent care of myself. I am in the health and wellness industry and work with like minded luxury lifestyle brands, “independent client providers”, therapists and fitness enthusiasts!
My day to day, is finding creative ways to help educate clients about their personal health, lifestyle and wellbeing. This may be a challenge to some but when your passionate about helping people and making them feel good it’s really easy! Now don’t fret if your not there yet, because taking care of yourself is something that you can only get better at. Trust me with age you will want too! You will want to make sure you hold onto your youth as long as possible by keeping it fresh, remaining on the forefront of fitness and learning how to chill the hell out!
Now, sometimes in life you must look the part and play the part! “I know this all too well.” My day starts off in rush with my kids challenging me at breakfast or drop off and then with limited time I rush off to take a fitness or yoga class that leaves me feeling in control and focused. I then switch gears and #HUSTLE which “Im pretty good at” and get my little selfless a_ _ to work! For most of my day I sit in a BIG white chair, listening to the waves crashing, playing my upbeat music with multiple phones ringing as I type away on the computer.
Most people would say that seems kinda lonely to work solo. But you see “I’m a behind the scenes kinda girl!” I enjoy my MEtime as I sit and talk out most of my to do’s. It’s where the magic happens! I sometimes drive my assistant completely NUTZ (well most of the time) and often I drive myself crazy! I’ll be honest life is not always easy. I might wear it well but that’s because I am a perfectionist. On the outside everything is in order looking on point. On the inside, I too can feel emotionally drained and afraid. You just never know what curveballs will come your way or what rollercoaster ride you will go on next! At first you will be scared of the changes that come, but then you will gain a bit more self-respect and belief in yourself.
Let me ask you this? Have you sat at your desk and lost your s_ _ _? I’ve sat in my office hysterical crying with my face held in my palms. Thinking how the f_ _ _ did I get here? Saying to myself “how the hell do I get out?” No one would ever think I’d be that girl but guess what “I am”! It’s at that very moment just shortly after the ultimate BREAKDOWN, that you have just earned a BREAKTHROUGH!
S_ _ _ happens, it really does! Believe me, I have had my share of rides and I have learned to “lookout a bit more for ME” paying more attention to my needs, my desires and my wellbeing. You, me and the rest of the world are capable, of making positive changes if we “just stay the course!”
Once you take a step back and analyze why you do the things you do, act and react to certain situations, you will start to understand what is missing. You might even realize that the compliments you were given and didn’t accept are in fact really true.
In my discovery so far I have learned:
- I am that woman that want’s what she wants and is not scared to say it or go for it!
- I love that I can tell someone my true feelings about them (face to face)
- I love that I have the ability to be someone’s friend even if they can’t be a friend just yet.
- I am that woman that wears her heart on her sleeve, the one that forgives so she can forget, the one that rides the highest wave and then simply looks back with smile knowing I achieved it!
Remember- Life is a process and again, it ain’t easy! Sometimes we make the wrong decisions for the right reasons and sometimes we are just so lost in our own world. It’s ok. Don’t lose site of what’s in front of you. What you think might be a minor distraction, really may be your next right decision.
XO SHA
